True Meaning ...

I'm standing right here...
All alone in the corner...
Trying to find the true meaning of my life...
Is it for pride…?
Is it for dignity…?
Is it for money…?
Or just to find love…
Some people said that we are here for something ...
But I never know why i am here ...
Do I still have a pure mind of a baby ...
Do I still have a pure heart of a baby ...
Can I still give a huge smile to everyone ...


(to be continued...)

True Love Never Ends

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand –"

If you want to know the meaning of true love than you should ask Mr. Widodo. Mr. Widodo Suwardjo who was born in East Java September 2, 1940 lived in Havana, Cuba as a stateless person, someone with no nationality status.

The whole story started when Mr. Widodo left Indonesia on October 13, 1960 for a study under a government scholarship to Moscow. During his final years, the G30S occur in Indonesia. Mr. Widodo managed to finish his study and earn bachelor on metallurgic science on 1966. But on the same year, Mr. Widodo lost his passport because of the G30S incident. On late 1966, the government declared that his passport is no longer a valid one.

Without a passport, Mr. Widodo continued his study to the Master degree until 1969. On late 1969, Mr. Widodo was invited by the Cuban government to work in Cuba to build steel factories and prepare the local technician for the factories. From that day, Cuba becomes his place to live. The Cuban government, on 1985, sent Mr. Widodo to pursue his doctorate degree in Moscow.

When Mr. Widodo left Indonesia on 1960, Mr. Widodo also left his loved one in Indonesia. Until today, on his 65, he still misses his loved one, Widari Soewahjo. Mr. Widodo is still single until today. He never marries another girl because when he left Indonesia, he promises Widari that he will marry her, the only girl that he ever loved. Widari who was born on 19 April 1944 also promises that she will wait for Mr. Widodo to come back to Indonesia.

I’m speechless when I read his story. Where could we find a man like him anymore in this world? I personally don’t think I would be able do the same thing as he does.

So please, if someone out there knows anything about Ms. Widari, let Mr. Widodo know. You can contact him directly at
- widodo [at] magcime [dot] cu
- masthuri [at] ombudsman [dot] go [dot] id
(dedicated to Mr. Widodo, taken from detik thanks to Andy S)

"Holding onto love is like holding your breath.
It is not easy and it will not let you rest."

The Black Years

30 September 1965 will be marked as a black day in Indonesia’s history. Late in the night of that day, a troop of the Tjakrabirawa officer leads by Letkol Untung kidnaped and killed 7 generals of the Indonesian Army. Then they dumped the bodies in Lubang Buaya region in East Jakarta. Later on, all of the general were hailed as the hero of the revolution. We can read everything about this in the history book of the elementary school, secondary school, and high school students. Is all thing that happen during that period? No, there were more than that.

But there were something that was never written in the history books. They never mention what happen after the incident in 30 September 1965. They never mention the horrifying days that last for years after the incident. For some people the horrifying moments even last until today.

After 30 September 1965, spread words saying that all of the generals were killed brutally. They said that the generals were tortured until their death by some women from the Gerwani organization. They also claimed that the generals were mutilated and the Gerwani’s were dancing while torturing the generals. Further autopsy reveal that there were no torturing occur in Lubang Buaya that night.

After the incidents, RPKAD were sent to rural areas to capture members of PKI and all organization that has a connection with PKI. Most of them end up dead or disappear. They were brutally murdered by some people selected by the RPKAD as the executor. Report claim that there were more than 2 million were killed.

If you watch Kick Andy show on Saturday than you will hear confession from one of the executor. He said that on one day on 1966 there were members of RPKAD come to his village. The RPKAD told him to select another 20 to 30 people who will act as executor for members of PKI and all organization that has connection with PKI. Almost every night he was called by the RPKAD to execute people. An executor usually handles 10 – 12 people. He later claimed that he doesn’t care whether the one the he will execute is one of his family or even his best friend. For him, it was a duty to protect the nation.

Questions come up to me after he said that. Why did the RPKAD use civilian as the executor? Why didn’t they execute them by themselves? There were no courts and justices for all of those victims. Did they really done something wrong? Is it legal to capture someone and then execute them even though there were no evidence connecting them with the incidents in Jakarta? RPKAD didn’t care with all of that. If you are a “left minded” people, then you are wrong and so did your family including your wife and sons. Leader of Bali CDB PKI were brutally murdered in Klungkung with his wife and sons.

Another hundred thousands people were sent to exile in Buru Island. They were forced to work transforming a forest into rice field. Thousands acre forest were finally transformed into rice field. How much did it cost? Thousands were killed due to lack of food, struck by disease, killed by wild animal, and some others were executed by the army guarding the island. Those people were finally released on 1978 – 1979. There were no justices for those people either.

While for best students from Indonesia who was studying abroad at that time, the situation was not different. Their passport was rejected which mean all of them were not Indonesian anymore. Most of them never returned to Indonesia and gave their ability to other country.

Until today, family members of people who were accused have a connection with PKI and organization under PKI get so many social disadvantages. They will find so many difficulties to work in the governmental areas, get an ET (ex – tapol) tag in their ID card, get bullied by their surrounding areas, don’t have the right to choose during the national election period, and many more.

I’m not trying to blame someone on this incident. But I just want to show you that there were something more than the deaths of 7 generals that occur during that period. It’s time to rebuild everything. The victims should be treated the same as other people. The perpetrator who still alive today should make a clear confession about what happen during that period. That way, everything will be clear. Our sons will be able to know the truth that happens during the black years.

Save our land from the curse of black years …

Save our sons and thought them the truth …

(taken from many source)

The Other Side of Bali - Raping

Tears fall to mother earth …
A nation in mourn …
An island in sorrow …
A girl in grieve …

Kasus penjualan dan pemerkosaan terhadap gadis dibawah umur di Amlapura akhirnya terungkap. Terungkapnya kasus ini gara-gara Bunga menghilang dari rumahnya 11 hari. Ayahnya yang anggota Mapolsek Kubu kelimpungan mencarinya ke mana-mana. Akhirnya, Bunga ditemukan di sebuah hotel di Amed. Saat ditemukan, Bunga sempat menolak diajak pulang, berteriak histeris dan mengatakan dirinya sudah telanjur rusak tak mau lagi menjadi orang baik. Ayahnya terkejut dan curiga dengan kondisi anaknya yang tampak shock dan ketakutan.

The case of selling and raping under age girl in Amlapura regency was finally solved. The case was finally unveiled because the victim, Bunga (in Indonesia we often called a victim as Bunga), disappear for 11 days. Her father who is member of Kubu sector police officer, look for her everywhere. Finally, Bunga was found at a hotel in Amed. When he found her, Bunga refused to go home, screaming hysterically and said that she was already devastated and don’t want to be a good girl anymore. Her father was shocked and curious with his daughter condition that looks so shock and frightened.

Sesampai di rumahnya di Amlapura, seluruh keluarganya membesarkan hatinya. Dia meminta Bunga berterus terang apa yang telah menimpanya. Bunga mengaku dijebak di tempat penginapan atlet Kejurda Karate di Buleleng dalam rangka seleksi atlet Bali untuk terjun di tingkat nasional. Sejak saat itu, Bunga merasa dirinya telah hancur.

When they arrive at their home in Amlapura, the entire families try to make her to have a big heart about this incident. They asked her to tell the truth about what happen to her. Bunga explained that she was trapped (raped) in the athlete’s dorm (she was a Karate athlete) in Buleleng regency during the athlete selection for the national championship. Since then, Bunga felt so devastated.

For you information, the police have put 6 name as the suspect for this case. Among the suspect are former member of the government executive officer (they didn’t mention his name), member of the Karangasem regency police officer, and a high school principal. The suspects are truck driver of the Karangasem regency police station Bripka I Made K (45), member Satpol PP Karangasem Regency Mrs. Ni Made BA (42), S (49), Dr (46), I Nyoman A (38), serta Sb (37).

When I read this story in the news paper, I was so furious. What the f*ck are those people thinking? For God sake, how could they rape an innocent young girl and sell her? It’s not just once but for a total of more than eight times they rape her.

Don’t you have a daughter or sister? What would you feel if the same thing happens to your daughter or sister?

When I look at the suspect, I become more and more furious. What the f*ck is that government officer doing there? Did we pay you with our sweat to rape our daughter or sister? For me government officer just a bunch of scum shit, maybe not all of them but most of them are.

Then we got another suspect who has the slogan to protect and to serve. Or should we revise it with to rape and to sell. My God, I couldn’t believe it. A person who has the duty to keep us secure now has turn against us. You are humiliating others police officers who have dedicated their live in the line of duty. While others put their life in jeopardy just to stabilize situation, you rape a young girl and destroy her futures. Your mother would be so ashamed have gave birth a man like you.

Then we got a high school principal, one damn stupid f*ckin principal. Your main purpose is to make people well educated. You should become an example for your students and you should give a good example. Not an example on how to rape and sell a young girl you stupid scum shit.

The last one is for Mrs. X who acts as the courier of the young girl. Damn this lady. I doubt if she is really a woman. Maybe she was a man who got dumped by so many girls and tries to make some revenge. You are so f*ckin lunatic bitch.

A politician said that the problem become so big because there were some ex government officer of the Karangasem regency. He also said that if the problem only involving some meat ball seller than it wouldn’t become this big.

Politician will always try to turn everything upside down. They never want to get blame although they know that they are in the wrong side as if they have the ability to turn north into south. It’s just their behavior. That’s why I never trust in politician. They talk bullshit all the time. None of their words ever become a reality. So if you’re good at talking bullshit and crap you should try to become a politician.

We all aware that a government officer is a public figure that should give a good example. A public figure will always be a prey for the press. When they do something wrong press will blow up everything. It’s a natural thing.

Damn all of you. You should die and go to hell. Enjoy your visit in the jail and I hope you’ll stay there for a long time.

(dedicated to Bunga)
taken from Bali Post and Nusa Bali

The Other Side of Bali - Prelude

When you heard about Bali, first thing that would come out to your mind probably a beautiful island in Indonesia’s archipelago. But for the next post on this blog, I will try to show you the other side of it. I will try to show you some of the story that you would never see in the tourism advertisement. I will try to show you the reality that happens in Bali.

I hope when you read it, you will see Bali differently than you see today. And I hope this will help Bali to become the real paradise on earth once again.

Let's save Bali and let's start it today...

A tribute to an Angel on Earth ...

angel poetri : usaha bantuin buat obat papa...
angel poetri : angel ada kerjaan...
angel poetri : sorry...
angel poetri : angel gak balik ke rs...
angel poetri : harus kerja...

We never met each other but I feel that we’ve become a friend for a long time. While some people wasting their life by doing unnecessary things, you must work really hard to get some money for your father medicine. I’m speechless when I think about her. She has to work until 4.00 am just to get some money for her father. When morning comes, she has to go to some high school to teach English. Later on the evening she has to update some e-commerce website followed by other extra jobs.

angel poetri : When I try to pull out myself from down the earth..
angel poetri : I’ll try to make u fly as well...
angel poetri : I’ll do anything I could...
angel poetri : It will be a pleasure to help a friend...

I’ll never forget the one above. You’re not selfish and always thinking about your friend. She said that friend is all that she has in this world.

I hope our friendship will last forever until the end of time.

Keep fighting in this world...

Keep smiling to this world...

And be strong...

Maybe one day the world will smile at you...

(In memories of angel’s father who passed away on September 13, 2006. May her father rests in peace and the bereft family be strengthened)

Bali : Past - Present - Future

I'm a Balinese boy and I feel so unsure with what's going on Bali right now. The old Bali I know was a peaceful place. Place where people live in peace and harmony. There are things that Balinese people always try to keep. We must keep the harmony with other peoples, the nature and the almighty God (Tri Hita Karana).

But somehow, people seem to forget about the harmonization with the nature. People try to exploit all the natural resources and use it for their own advantages. Right now, if you come to Bali, you won’t see the same things as you would see in late 70s. Most of the rice fields in Bali have been transformed in to a field of concrete. The photo shows what was the region between Kuta and Denpasar look like during the 70s. You didn’t know that they were rice field in 70s, aren’t you?

In my early days, about 10 – 15 years ago, I use to play kite with my friends during the dry season. There were so many open fields because people harvest their rice field. We use it a place to play, sometime we play football there, and at other time we play our kite there.

But right now, when most of the rice fields have been transformed, where would we go if we want to play our kite? I couldn’t imagine what Bali would look like in another 10 – 20 years. Maybe there will be no more rice field. There will be no more birds looking for seeds. There will be no more children running and playing with a big smile on their face.

The fastest transformation occurs in the Denpasar and Badung region. The tourism sector becomes the main factor that drives the transformation. As more people attracted to come to Bali, more and more investor will be willing to invest their money to Bali. As the result, a village called Kuta has now become village of people from whole over the world. Would you believe that this was Legian Street on 70s? Maybe you should come and see how it looks like right now.

The tourism may have given some living for Balinese. But did it give the advantages to most of Balinese people? Or it just a few people who sit in the government office?


When we give up and sell our land to some lunatic investors who just want to exploit the land without giving any advantages to the surrounding area, we have sold the future of our sons. One day we might have to buy some tickets just to watch the sunset.

Tortured Minds

If you heard the term hospital (or Rumah Sakit in Indonesia), the first thing that will come up to your mind would be a place where people receive treatment for their illness. Most people will come out in a better condition compared to the condition when they come to the hospital. But that only happen for normal people (with lot of money if you're in Indonesia).

Different thing would happen if you have a mental illness. These photos are taken from one of the so-called "Rumah Sakit Jiwa", hospital for people with mental illness, in Cipayung. How can you cure someone with this kind of facility?

John Stanmayer, a reporter of the Time magazine, takes the photos. It's worst than a jail to me. Some of the patients are in shackled or chained to the window bars. It is said that there are more punitive than palliative treatment in the facility. You might see the facility as another Resident Evil's Racoon City.



The report also suggests that no other country offers less mental health care than Indonesia. Indonesia spent less than $1 per person per day. If to cure them is to far away, how about to make them feel a little bit comfort in the facility? That's too far either. Other photos are more horrifying than this one.

If the facility can't cure them so why should we call it "Rumah Sakit Jiwa"?

Maybe we should call it prison for people with mental illness. Well, in Indonesia it's a common thing to use a non-harsh term because talking too frankly is not a common thing in Indonesia. Another example is the use of "loan" instead of "debt". You will always hear "Indonesia get a loan with a soft interest" not "Indonesia make a soft interest debt".

Well, $1 per person per day is way to small. So much for a so-called "we have gone through the crisis" heh.

Only in Indonesia ...

Setelah selama 120 hari mendekam di tahanan Mabes Polri, Dirut PLN Eddie Widiono akhirnya bisa menghirup udara bebas. Di hari pertama kebebasannya, Eddie langsung ngantor.

After being held for 120 days in the police headquarters, the director of PLN, Indonesia's national (sole) electric company, Eddie Widiono, finally can breathe the air of freedom. At the first day of his freedom, Eddie went directly to his office.

You'll never believe what could happen in Indonesia. A national company run by a criminal? That's not a new story here. Where in this world, can you find a criminal run the house of representative? Only in Indonesia ...

Unbelievable. What would you expect if a house controlled by a criminal? A nice guy who care with people who vote him during the election? Not in your wildest dream mate. You will always get a bunch of criminal too, maybe not all of them but most of them will.

If he is being dishonest, so why should I?

If he get a lot of dirty money, so why can't I?

Where can you find it all? Only in Indonesia ...

Another Tale Of Kampret Roy Suryo

After missing for quite a while, he is back again with his old habits of saying nonsense thing. This time he talks about Juwono Sudarsono’s blog-type personal website. This is the news that I found in Jawa Pos. I got the link from Enda Nasution's Blog. I try to translate it (sorry if the English is not good enough).

Pakar telematika Roy Suryo mengkritik pemilihan domain (nama) website Menhan tersebut. "Kalau belakangnya pakai com, itu perusahaan, ada kepentingan bisnis atau komersialnya. Karena itulah, kita tidak menggunakan ekstensi com untuk website presiden," ujar anggota tim khusus pengelola website kepresidenan itu.

Telematic expert, Roy Suryo, criticizes the Minister of Defense’s website name. “If a website ends with a .com, then it would be a company and there is a business and commercial interest involve in it. That’s why we don’t use the .com for the president’s website”, said by member’s of a special team to maintain the president’s website.

Lebih lanjut, Roy meminta Menteri Komunikasi dan Informasi Sofyan Djalil untuk mengingatkan koleganya. "Itu tugas Pak Sofyan untuk segera mengingatkan beliau," katanya.

Furthermore, Roy asks the minister of communication and Information, Sofyan Djalil to remind his colleague. “It’s Mr. Sofyan duty to remind him”, said by Roy.

Menurut Roy, dalam dunia maya, sudah ada klasifikasi di balik pemilihan domain. Dijelaskan, jika website didesain resmi untuk informasi kenegaraan, menggunakan ekstensi domain go.id, misalnya www. deplu.go.id yang dipakai Departemen Luar Negeri. Untuk kepentingan pendidikan, lazimnya menggunakan ekstensi domain edu di belakang nama situs. "Jangan salah kaprah," tegasnya.

According to Roy, in the digital world, there are classifications for the domain selection. He explain that if a website was officially design for a civil or state information, then the domain should be go.id, for example www.deplu.go.od which is used by the Department of Foreign Affair. For an education purpose usually the domain would be .edu. “Don’t get it wrong”, claimed by Roy Suryo.

Pria bergelar Kanjeng Raden Mas Tumenggung itu juga mengkritik model blog yang digunakan dalam situs Menhan. "Itu kan tidak resmi, sepatutnya sebagai pejabat publik harus menampilkan citra yang baik, termasuk dalam berkomunikasi melalui internet," ujarnya.

The man who has title Kanjeng Raden Mas Tummenggung also criticizes the blog-type which is used in the minister of defense website. “It’s an unofficial website. So, as a public servant he should be showing a good image, especially when communicating through the Internet”, said by Roy.

At the first he talks about the domain selection but in the end he talks about some good image as a public servant. What is your point mister expert in telematic. What a stupid idoiot.

Roy, please stop talking nonsense thing like this one. It’s just going to make you look like a stupid idiot in front of public. It’s a personal website, so it’s non of your business whether he use .com, .net or maybe .org. Please read this Wiki if you don't trust me. It’s all there:

The .com, .net, and .org gTLDs, despite their original different uses, are now in practice open for use by anybody for any purpose.

So please think before you made any kind of comment and do get yourself a references. There are lots of reading materials in the Internet. Well then, still thinking of you as an expert in telematic? What a big bollocks he is …

You can read about this guy everywhere in the Internet. Or you can stop at the Wiki about him, but it’s not in English.

War Is Not An Answer

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for"

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

I don't understand what is going on the Middle East right now. What is the Israel looking for? Why do people choose war as an answer of the problem? Human life is like a piece of shit in the war. Don’t have a price at all. If you meet your enemy than kill them. It’s just as simple as that.

Don’t they understand that we come from the same mother? We all are brothers. We have the same blood. Though we come from different race, different culture, and different religion. Human makes all of the different, while for the almighty God we all are equal.

So why couldn’t we live together in peace. Live side by side, helping each other. Live in peace and harmony.

Please stop the war because war is not the answer for any kind of problem. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. You aren’t going to get a thing through war and violence. Always use love and compassion when handling everything.

The earth is crying when they see us killing each other. Can you hear it?

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Hitman : Blood Money

In the last weekend I played this game for almost 18 hours. The game is really cool because it has so many options to accomplish the mission. The game is about a secret agent who accepts various types of jobs, where most of the jobs are to assassinate some specific target. The fun side is you can accomplish the mission in any way you like it. You can do Rambo-style of play, where you take you weapon and try to gun down every enemy you see (or even every moving object you see hwehe...).

Or you can do a sneak and kill strategy. I like this one because there is a sense of satisfaction if you can kill your enemy from behind using a fiber wire or a poison syringe hwaha... I'm not a maniac but it's just feel good to kill that way ... Another fun side is you can take anybody clothes and pretend to be one of them. My favorite clothes would be the FBI suits. Look relly cool...

Another aspect that makes me fall in love with the hitman series is the use of the sniper rifle. Wow ... this weapon is really awesome ... You can gun down the enemy from quite long distance and left them without knowing who is shooting hwaha ... I wish I had one so I can gun down mr. xxx hwaha ...

The down side of the game is it minor bugs ... You need to install the patch to make the game works perfectly. Overall I'll gave 9/10 for the game ...

Long Time ...

It's quite a while since I last post to this blog. And today I'll start to write again. The first thing I've decided to do today is to clear my old blog and replace it with something new. So if you have something to say to me about my blog or whatever you want to say, just hit me. Don't hesitate. Happy reading and I hope this blog can provide some useful info for you.

Cheers

P.S. : If you have any comments on my english, please write a comment too. I want to improve my english, that's why I wrote this blog in english.